Killed By An Angel
by Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: Yaoi: Heero and Duo facing the truth about thier relationship. Contains suicide (sucessful or not, you have to read to find out) and mild angst. It's my re-published first fic, so be a little nice.


Disclaimers:   
Sadly, I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM WING! (although..... maybe later I will.. you never know) But for now I don't, so don't sue me!!  
  
I also don't own the song "Killed by an angel." That happens to be preformed by Sunny Day Real Estate, so if you want any details on who owns the rights to that, track the group down and ask 'em!   
  
Notes: text like that is for song lyrics, //this// is for unspoken thoughts. And /flashbacks/ and /end flashbacks/ are like that. Yeah... can't describe it well... I know, I know...  
  
THE FIC: Killed By an Angel  
BY: Maxwell-Yuy  
welcome to the lonesome world of abel  
  
//Oh, Heero... how could you let this happen? How could you leave me alone to wither away? I'm so empty without you... such a lonesome world...//  
  
where every brother's knife is set to slay you  
  
//You hurt me so much..//  
  
and paranoia keeps you healthy  
  
Walking back to the safe house, Duo can't help but feel like he's being followed. He whirls around, chestnut braid flying. And nothing's there.  
  
"Dare da? Who's there?"  
  
crooked deals can keep you wealthy  
serum vials to help you when you're sad  
  
"Hn." He grunts as he turns back toward the safe house. //I need help... but it'll be okay. Everything will be alright.. so why am I still hurting?//  
  
Slipping on that familiar mask, the medicine that keeps him going, he continues down the street and up the long driveway of the Winner Estate.  
  
every other face is bent and broken  
wrap your teeth around the only game in town  
made your clothes from insulation  
break your day for pay and ration  
  
Entering the house and finding no one there, the mask falls. Duo's alone again. //I'm always alone.// Think. Think was what he had to do. Finding an answer would ease the pain within.  
  
hide  
hide  
  
//I run, I hide, but I never tell a lie.//  
  
hide...  
  
/flashback/  
  
Duo runs into the room he shares with Heero, eager to talk to (or more likely at) him or just bother him. Any excuse to be with the Perfect Soldier. "Hey Heero, what's up?" he asks cheerfully. Stopping in his tracks, he looks up. Something is wrong. //I don't hear any typing...// He looks over at the laptop that is placed ever so neatly on the mahogany desk. There's no Heero. No incessant typing. None of the usual jealousy and envy evoked from watching the Prussian eyed pilot make love to that damned laptop.   
  
Venturing downstairs, the fait glow of a television attracts his attention. Creeping over with the stealth of his beloved Deathscythe, Duo lingers in the doorway. And there is Heero. //He's watching TV!!! The perfect soldier has some ounce of normality in him!// Creeping up on him from behind, The Deathscythe pilot drapes his arms around Heero's neck across his chest.  
  
"Kisama! Duo, next time you do that, omae o korosu! What do you want?"  
  
"Gomen Heero, I just..."  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"I.."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"What are you doing in front of the television? Isn't there some rule against that in the How-To-Be-A-Perfect-Soldier Manual?" He blurts out.  
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo moves to sit on the couch, and Heero moves slightly away. //Heero? Do you hate me that much?// After a long moment of silence, Heero speaks up, "Why don't you bother Quatre or something?"  
  
A quiet reply states, "No one else is home"  
  
"Aaa."  
  
"Heero... do you uh... well... how do you fee.... what do you think about me?"  
  
Heero fell silent for a moment (as if he could be any more silent) and then answered, "I try not to"  
  
A slightly hurt "Oh." Was the last exchange of words between them.  
  
/end flashback/  
  
killed by an angel  
lost inside amazing colors  
it's never how you feel  
it comes in a bottle  
let's say you found a gun;  
how would your bad side burn?  
it's never how you feel  
it comes in a bottle  
  
Alone in the safe house, Duo makes his way upstairs to the room he once shared with Heero. Again it is as though someone is there with him, but he knows better than to turn around this time. //So what if I'm delusional? It'll all be over, all over...// Taking time to peer into every other bedroom, he finds only vacant rooms that seem somehow filled. He stops at his door, and turns the knob.  
  
It all seems so empty. No Heero, no laptop, just one perfectly made bed, one bed with covers thrown all over and a small hairbrush. Even though Heero didn't have many possessions, his presence, his scent was what made that room almost like a home.  
  
Walking to the dresser stationed between the two beds, he reaches in the drawer and smiles as his hand contacts the cold smooth surface of his gun. The gun Heero gave him to replace the one he lost a few months ago on a mission.   
  
//This is it...//  
  
relax and all these whores will lick the membrane  
just a touch, a stain, a hole in your brain  
it's cold when you remove the nails  
beg for more when all else fails  
serum vials to help you when you're sad  
  
Running his fingers over the gun, he clicks of the safety mechanism. Grinning wickedly, Shinigami prepares to brief himself.  
  
killed by an angel  
lost inside amazing colors  
it's never how you feel  
it comes in a bottle  
let's say you found a gun;  
how would your bad side burn?  
it's never how you feel  
it comes in a bottle  
  
the way the sea reflects the sun  
long gone  
and all the miracles of love  
long gone  
  
//I, Duo Maxwell, who have taken so many lives... I cannot find the strength to live the rest of my life out. Oh, Heero, loving you is torturing myself with delusions of you while all the while being lost in euphoria. I see now that you can't love me. No one can love Death. I'd rather be lost in the twilight of your heart than be cast into the night. And I was, for a while. But now the night is so dark, and so cold. Without even the faint moonlight to guide me back to you: back to your heart. I won't force you to love me. You can go, you are free. And I'll see you in hell, or heaven, or whatever comes or doesn't come after this life. But I know I'll meet you in death, because I will be the one to take your soul, for I am Shinigami.//  
  
you hold your heart out in your hand  
one last long sigh gone  
one last long sigh gone...  
  
when you see the sores you can't believe them  
pathogenic lovers in a basement cell  
dirty white sheets cut up in strips  
cracks in the mirror and your mind slips  
serum vials to help you when you're sad  
  
Finally, he steadily raises the gun to his head, positioning it for an immediate death. ~ A flawless mission, as Heero would say. //His hand tightens on his hold. ~ Goodbye, guys. I'll miss you all, Quatre, Trowa, Wu-Fei, Heero...//  
  
A shot rings out, breaking the silence. Darkness envelopes the boy who calls himself Death.  
  
killed by an angel  
lost inside amazing colors  
  
//So dark... but so colorful. Death doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I can't see or hear anything... it's painful bliss...//  
  
//But what's this? What's that sound? It sounds like crying. Could someone be mourning me? No matter, I'm gone, I'm done. But the pain, it's getting worse, something - someone is holding me, and the sound getting louder.//  
  
Duo opened his eyes.  
  
/flashback/  
  
it's never how you feel  
  
Heero is returning back to the safe house. He had to make something right. //Duo, I'm so sorry. I love you, I didn't mean to leave, I just... I couldn't face you - I couldn't face my emotions. Please, please give me a second chance. I'd rather be lost in the twilight of your heart than be banished into the night.//  
  
Turning down the proper street, he sees a black clad figure walking just ahead of him. //Duo?// Not wanting him to see him just yet, Heero followed Duo into the safe house and down the hall that headed for their room. //Something's really wrong. Why are you looking to see that no one is here? What are you going to do, Duo?//  
  
He watched as the black clad pilot went into the bedroom, and he stood just outside the door when he heard only silence. *click* //What was that? Sounds familiar... like.. a gun? Oh no, Duo!// He looked into the room to see his beloved steadily raise the gun to his head, positioning it for an immediate death. //A flawless mission - Why? Don't you love life? Don't you love me?// He didn't have time to think much more. In a split second he was across the room and tackling Duo - Just as a shot rings out, breaking the silence.   
  
/end flashback/  
  
it comes in a bottle  
let's say you found a gun;  
how would your bad side burn?  
  
A low moan escaped a set of lips. "Huh? Oi, I even fail at killing myself..." In fact, he missed entirely. And for some reason he was on the floor - it felt like he was slammed into it by some force...  
  
The crying? whimpering? from before ceased. A voice very similar to Heero's quietly said his name. //Was that relief I heard in that voice? Was that Heero?//  
  
"Why can't Death ever die?" he sighed.  
  
Strong hands took him into an embrace and all too quickly held him out at arms length. "Duo! Duo, daijoubu desu ka?"  
  
"Ah. Daijoubu... wait... Heero?" He looked up at the boy on the floor next to him, once strong but now so vulnerable. Prussian blue oceans stared back into his violet orbs. "Heero." It was now a statement more than a question.  
  
"Hai. Ano, Duo? Don't ever do that again." He could now see tears forming in the Perfect Soldier's eye. "I couldn't lose you. I - ai - ai shiteiru."  
  
it's never how you feel  
it comes in a bottle  
  
"Heero..."   
  
The Prussian eyes became soft and full of emotion as he leaned forward and softly placed a kiss on Death's lips. "I mean it, Duo."  
  
"Heero," he whispered, returning the kiss with delicate withheld passion as the other pilot responded by gently gliding his tongue into his mouth. As they pulled away for air, he finished "I love you so much, Heero. I won't leave you... ever"  
  
killed by an angel  
killed by an angel... 


End file.
